Much of my addiction stemmed from childhood, but I didn’t know or understand until digging into therapy. I got sober first and then attended therapy to understand the trauma of my past.

My mother had me at 16 years old, and my father died when I was four years old. So, my mother became a widow at 20 with two kids. We were poor, and Mom didn’t make wise relationship choices. There was tons of abuse and neglect, which often left me isolated and alone. As a child, my coping mechanism was my imagination, but as an adult, it became drugs and alcohol.

When I got sober, my therapist would explain that I didn’t have a choice. The trauma I went through had to come out somewhere. Since I didn’t have a close family or support system, I turned to substances for “love.” For a long time, I loved alcohol because it made me feel amazing - it took away my fears and anxiety. It worked until it didn’t work anymore. At some point, I realized this was not the life or legacy I wanted to live. It was time for a change.

If your childhood trauma has impacted your addiction, that’s okay. What’s not okay is to make excuses forever because that only affects you. You can get healthy, but it takes work. Healing from trauma takes time and shouldn’t be done alone. Each person’s journey is unique, and what worked for me may not work for you. Experiment and see what brings you relief. I encourage you to seek professional help because I know how much it benefited me.

Do you have unresolved childhood trauma?