Patterns, like invisible threads, weave the tapestry of our lives. They are the repeated behaviors, thoughts, and decisions that shape our daily existence and, ultimately, our destiny. Once formed, these patterns can become deeply embedded in our psyche and behavior, making them challenging to alter.

A pattern from my addictive years was a loss of control, which stemmed from my “go all out” attitude - I have one gear: do everything well. I attempt to be great at everything; however, being great at doing drugs and drinking isn’t commendable. The pattern of losing control is a theme from my past, which resulted in poor choices and, thus, unfavorable consequences.

Over time, patterns solidify into habits that significantly influence our life trajectory. For instance, consistently reacting to stress with substance use can evolve into a detrimental pattern, impeding growth. When left unchecked, such patterns become ingrained, requiring considerable effort.

To change these patterns, start with self-reflection. Regularly examine your behaviors and thoughts. Ask yourself: Are there recurrent, counterproductive themes in your choices and actions? Keeping a journal can be a helpful tool in this process.

Some of the worst patterns to avoid, particularly in the context of personal growth and building relationships, include consistent negativity, avoidance of responsibility, refusal to communicate effectively, and reliance on substances to cope with challenges. These patterns not only hinder your personal development but also strain your relationships.

You have the power to change these patterns. If you build destructive patterns, you can also develop better ones.

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